Life is work

As I've said before I have been following the blog of another woman whom I don't even know for quite some time now. Her name is Jennifer McKinney and she lives in Minnesota. I started following her blog through a friend of mine and through reading her blog I decided to creat my own.

Jennifer is a mother of 4 small children all under the age of 4. Her youngest is almost 6 months old and was just in the hospital for more than 5 weeks with SVT (SVT is a rapid heart rate). It may not sound like much but it could very well be life threatening. After several weeks in the hospital in Minnesota, a bout of Rotovirus and numerous doctors it was decided that Stellan (the sick baby, in case you wondered who Stellan is) would be transferred to Boston Children's Hospital. Stellan underwent a surgical procedure called an ablation that by medical definition was a failure and continued to have episodes of SVT. Well to cut to the chase a bit...Stellan and his mom just arrived back at their home yesterday. He went for an EKG and some other testing this morning and all is looking great. You can see all of the details if you want at www.mycharmingkids.net

The story of Stellan has made me revist alot of things in life. I have come to accept my dirty house a little more these last few weeks. I am generally a very organized person who likes things in their place. I don't do clutter well. Laundry?? Do you have clean underwear? Then you're good to go! Dinner?? So long as we are all eating something remotely healthy...we're okay! :-) I am trying to spend more time reading books with Adriana, or playing games. I am trying to spend more time enjoying Jaxon's mischevious ways instead of finding ways to stop all of them. I am trying to spend more time listening to what Tori and Tina have to say and less time talking. And my husband...well that one I have a little more work. You see, I'm not perfect by any means, but I've always thought that I was a pretty good mom. I've always felt that it was the most important job I was ever going to have and the job that I did as a mom in raising my kids was going to set the gound work for my grandchildren, great-grandchildren and on down the line. (Just a little pressure, right?) So I've tried really hard to do the mother stuff right, though I still screw up sometimes and question myself often.

Anyhow, when it comes to my relationship with my husband I know I fall short. More often than I would ever like to admit...especially to him. ;) We've been together now about 9 years and I often wonder how? Well I know the answer is quite simple really....it is simply by the Grace of God. It is by his graciousness that I was brought together with this man and have then been blessed with this amazing family. I am very blessed and I know it. I was raised in a house where my mom "wore the pants" so to speak. Mom is the one who made most decisions, mom did the child rearing, and even did most of the house repairs. So when I met this man whom is now my husband I had some changing to do. I've struggled with letting him "take the reigns"...unless I want him to of course (then it's easy to do). That whole "wife be submissive to your husbands" thing they talk about at church...I don't do that well, just ask my husband. I'm working on it though. You see...I owned my own toolbox (full of tools of course and no, they weren't pink) and a cordless drill when I met my husband. I didn't need a man to take care of me. I could do it all on my own.

There have been alot of ups and downs along the way in figuring this out, but I do need a man to take care of me. I need my husband to love and protect me. To provide for our family. It's hard to admit that. (I think a light just came on in my head). It's hard to open up to someone in a way that makes me very vulnerable (my parent's were married almost 25 years when they got divorced). If I give myself to him in the way that I am supposed to then how do I protect myself. What if one day, 20 years from now, he changes his mind and decides "ahhh, no thanks...I think I'll be going now". Then what?? This is something I'm working on.

I'm working on the things that are really important to me, my relationships. With God, my husband, my children and the rest of my family. I know that the first place I need to start is with God....if I get myself in sync with him, the rest will seem like a piece of cake (chocolate of course). One day it will not matter what my house looked like or how clean it was. It will be the lives of all those that were touched when they walked through it's doors.

Thank you Stellan for awakening my spirit in sooo many ways.

Summer Camp

This will be the first year for Adriana to experience summer break and the first time she would be home for an extended period of time without me (since I am now working). I've been thinking of what she can do for the summer when one Sunday at church there was an announcement about "summer camp". There will be swimming, crafts, activities and tons of fun. "Perfect!" I thought. So I requested the paperwork and began my quest of filling out the pages once the information arrived.

All was well until the other morning in the midst of trying to get breakfast on the table, lunch packed and accomplishing my own agenda I attempted to fill in the blanks on the application. Adriana happened to catch a glimpse of the lovely green papers on the table and asked what they were. I explained that I was filling out paperwork for summer camp. "What??", she exclaimed. "Summer Camp...I don't want to go to summer camp." In a very calm voice with great confusion I asked "why don't you want to go to summer camp?" You could hear the concern in her little voice as she spoke "I don't want to go to summer camp, Momma. I haven't been bad. Only bad kids go to summer camp". I tried not to laugh, but could see that she was very serious. I explained that summer camp is not for bad kids and this was going to be like daycare for bigger kids. I told her that she would go swimming, maybe a trip to the park, ice cream shop...who knows. After further explanation of what exactly it was that I was signing her up for she was much more in favor of the idea of summer camp.

Oh....the things kids come up with!

My baby turns one!

This past weekend we celebrated Jaxon's first birthday with many friends and family. We prepared for days by grocery shopping, cake baking, cake decorating, more cake baking, jello making, cup cake baking, more grocery shopping, cup cake decorating, more grocery shopping, Nemo shaped pasta making, house cleaning, ham baking, etc...

Since Easter was the next day, we started the party with an Easter celebration dinner followed by a mad dash of over 20 kids trying to find more than 350 plastic eggs filled with candy and coins. Jaxon was not too interested in egg hunting since it required he walk through the grass, touch the grass and then walk through the grass some more. He was however, very interested in the eggs once all of the hunting was over. With each egg that was opened his eyes grew wide and he would let out a "hoh" sound. He was all too happy to give his findings away to a late comer that missed the egg hunt...just as long as he could play with the eggs. Ohh what simple times....

We sang happy birthday and Jaxon got to eat his mini Nemo cake. Unlike his big sister, Adriana, who cried when we sang Happy Birthday to her for the first time...he didn't seem to care much or pay attention to our singing. He just wanted the cake. Imagine that...my 24 pound baby boy only being interested in the cake??? He got right to it at first. Both hands in the cake, eating icing as fast as he could, but he didn't last too long. He wanted to feed it to everyone else instead.

Jaxon (mommy) later opened his many presents brought by his admiring family and friends. I don't think that I've ever seen a baby so disinterested in opening gifts. I opened the presents and Marlin would attempt to show him. This happened with nearly each gift. I think he may have sat still for one of them. If I had to pick what he liked the most...it would be the bunch of balloons that we had filled during one of our many trips to the grocery store. When he woke the next morning to find them lying on the kitchen floor he didn't even seem to mind. Then Daddy decided he was going to pop them all so that when they started to deflate Jaxon couldn't eat them and choke. Jaxon enjoyed the popping of the balloons, but when they were all popped something clicked in his mind and he realized they were all gone. He wasn't quite so happy anymore. He began crying and held his head in his hands. I think it was the first time I saw him get upset about something (other than not being fed fast enough).

Jaxon's First Birthday

This week has been very difficult for me. The realization that my little fat man will be turning 1 tomorrow is hard to accept. I look at him every day how he is growing, discovering and learning. He makes me laugh like no one else can...and the best part is he isn't even trying.

Just the other day he came around the corner of the sofa with a small plastic teddy bear that belongs to one of Adriana's baby dolls. As he rounded the corner with this 4" bear in hand he had the biggest smile on his face as if he had struck gold. Marlin looked up at him and said "hello". Jaxon then held the bear up to his ear as if he was talking on the phone. We thus named this devise non other than the "teddyphone". Jaxon didn't think he was doing anything spectacular, but we were laughing.

He is mastering the art of walking more and more every day. He has learned that he can switch directions, fall down in the middle of a room and get back up. Some days he even thinks that he can run. He is obsessed with closing doors. This is ok until he closes himself in a room and then sits behind the door. Thus he starts crying and you can't open the door to get him. :-)

We are planning a celebration of the first year of this little man's life this coming weekend and with a name like Jaxon Nemo what would we be planning other than a Nemo party??? I just took Jaxon on Saturday for his one year pictures and for a few shots he wore his Nemo swim shorts. They are so stinking cute...I can't wait to share them with everyone.

I'm very grateful and feel extremely blessed to have these days. I know that all too soon they will fade away...and when the time comes I will be left with the wonderful memories of days gone by. Childhood is a wonderful time, but nothing can compare to motherhood. It's simply amazing.

T-Ball

Adriana had her first T-Ball practice on Tuesday night. She had been anticipating it since we signed up months ago. She and Daddy had been playing catch in the family room for the last week and she was definitely improving as time went on. The first day if the ball didn't land right in her glove she would complain that Daddy didn't know how to throw the ball very well. Of course the fact that she was planted to the ground and had never moved even the slighest had nothing to do with it. :-) She was very happy to see that a few of her friends from school were on her team and jumped right to it. The thought of spending the next three months watching 13 five to six year old girls run around this field is amuzing at the very least. I plan to take lots of pictures to document this crazy time in her life. She is such a girly girl that the thought of her running around on this dirt field and eventually diving after a ball makes me laugh inside.

I'm a blogger!!

I have recently gotten quite caught up in a blog that a friend of mine from church turned me on to. I still don't really know what blogging is, but I thought it would be a great way to keep touch with family that isn't very close or just something fun to do. I have a lot of things that I want to post on here over the next few weeks, but today I will just tell you about what prompted me to become a blogger.

I could go into hours of detail of my own words but I will simply ask you to click this link and see for yourselves. www.mycharmingkids.net This is a story that has impacted me in a way I never dreamed possible. It is a story of pain, courage, triumph, faith, patience and everything in between. It is a story of a life that will forever change mine.

Until next time....